Sometimes I smile when I want to cry. But only so everybody doesn't worry. Because if they do worry, I'm afraid I'll tell them everything that's wrong. And it's best if I keep things to myself; because I scare myself with my thoughts sometimes. I make myself cry, and I don't know why. it's not normal to think about the things I do. And in the morning, I can only vaguely recall what I was thinking about. So when people ask what it was, I always have to say it was nothing important, or that I forgot.
Why is it that online, I never run out of things to say when things are bad. But when in real life, I can barely manage three words to anybody. I